Tuesday, April 8, 2008

A Memorial and a Reading

As part of the ceremony to honor my co-author on the anniversary of his passing from life, we do a reading to help us realize what we must do on both of our own parts to make the project we have taken on together successful.
The reading begins with an 8 of swords. A card of great frustration, this represents bondage. I am tied to my current station in life and place of residence by lack of funds. He is earthbound by need to heal and impart certain important messages. Of late we have both felt as though we are going nowhere and going there very fast.
One might ask exactly where a ghost can "go." "Physically" speaking, they can go just about anywhere they want. This refers to progress in spiritual healing and growth.
This card is crossed by the six of swords, which represents movement countering the stagnation. For my own part there is a great deal of "movement" in my life at this time although it seems to be taking me along in a swift current rather than my controlling where I'm going. It is very unsettling. I am trying to learn techniques to become more in tune with the energies, thereby bypassing this unsettled feeling.
The card in the goal or destiny position is strength. We have both been weakened at given times in our existences by mental illness, but strength of character and perseverance can conquer even the devastating effects of mental illness. Much can be achieved. Perserverance can even conquer death. Our strength is believing in our mission and perservering in spite of external appearances.
The card of the distant past foundation is the nine of cups. This is a card of prosperity and contentment. I have often had a feeling that in another life I was wealthy and possibly a bit of an ass about it. A horrific tragedy made me see the hollowness of monetary wealth. In this life I fear wealth.
As for him, I know that in this life he died with nothing. He was never wealthy at any stage in his life, yet in spite of his disturbed mental state he always had a noble air about him that I could never quite explain. I'm still not fully able to interpret anything about a past life of nobility on his part although he has said that he was on friendly terms with William Shakespeare in another life. This seems to have been as an actor but he may have been a bit of a dilletante. Either way, both of us seem to disdain wealth and status to a certain degree in our most recent lives. It is a fear that we both need to overcome.
The card of recent past events is the Tower. The disastrous events of the past always echo through on ths day. For a more complete essay on this, please follow this link.
The card in the position of future influence is the Hermit. This represents solitude and study. For my own part, mine is a lonely path. My son is leaving for college this fall and I've never been very good at making friends. But it will also be a time of learning and spiritual study. Befriending a ghost to the degree that I have means that for me the door to the other side is always open for me. This is sometimes good, sometimes it can be detrimental. Sometimes the things that he has to tell me (and others) come through in the form of a fictionalized story. I interpret this as meaning that the best thing we can do is keep writing together!
The four of wands falls into the category of home and self. It is a card of completion and success. We did successfully complete and publish the last book. Now we're just waiting for some lucky souls to discover and read it and spread the word!
I'm using the Necronomicon deck and in this particuar deck there is a woman and a Deep One depicted on the card. Since I'm a woman, guess who must be the Deep One?
Only joking! He actually looks nothing at all like a Deep One. I usually embarrass him by saying he looks like an elf. The Tolkein kind, not the Christmas special kind.
If you'd like to see a Deep One, follow the link.
See, he doesn't look like a Deep One. Now, maybe he can take his hands off my neck!
Again, only joking. For those out there who think that all ghosts take their cues from the late night movie on the Chiller channel, most of them actually don't. A ghost is the same person that they were in life, only being without a body sometimes allows them to see certain things more clearly. They can, for instance, see energy fields that most of us living folk can't. They are not, however, omniscient. That's still an area to be left for the deities, and most of the time they either ain't talking or we can't hear them!
The environmental factors are represented by the 10 of cups. This is an energyof great achivement, joy, friendship, family fidelity, all kinds of great things.
I guess it's a good idea to keep this partnership going. In spite of adversity we really still can achieve a lot and help each other. But we do need reminding sometimes. For me it can be frustrating and painful that my best friends are ghosts and I am pretty well ostracized by living people. Not to belittle ghosts but sometimes its hard to believe in things that you can only sense but not see. (I've only seen one ghost.) For my friend, the pain of wondering if people will ever know who he truly was and wanted to be, of wanting to say he's sorry for the pain his death caused, and the fact that sometimes he still wishes he could take it back or be brought back to life is tough. I think doing this ceremony tonight helped us both and I think this reading has as well.
The five of swords is in the position of hopes and fears. This is a card of opposition and anxiety. Self-explanatory. We don't need any more of this shit and we can be our own worst enemies.
The final outcome is the three of wands. This is a wonderful and positive card. It represents good possibilities and possible help from persons already established in one's chosen field or other benevolent outsiders. Good enough for us! Let's keep working--we aren't failures. And if anyone wants to tell either of us we're insane? Why waste your key strokes? Tell us something we don't know!
Nice reading! Time to thank the Deities for helping us.
Blessed Be!
Lily and Spooky


Bipolar Speaks said...

Most of you know me as “Dreamwriter.” I recently
Launched a new blog called, “Bipolar Speaks.” One day something came over me as I was reading websites called “Post Secret” and also a blog who had a post where they had quotes from other Bloggers with mental illness about how they felt.

It occurred to me that WE need an escape to let out our feelings and frustrations. I know that a lot of bloggers say what they feel within their own blogs, but you are welcome to share your thoughts, opinions, and feelings.

You are welcome to help raise awareness and put a stop to the Stigma that lies within mental illness. We can change the world - one story at a time.

I thought it would be interesting
To design a “Safe Haven” for those who battle with a Mental Illness; and allow them to come and let out their most darkest, painful, and emotional feelings. This would be a great way to spread awareness by letting society know what is REAL about mental illness.

If you are interested, you can submit a story or short piece as an “Anonymous” contributor, or if you don‘t care about what others think, then feel free to reveal your blogger identity; its purely up to you.. I tried this several times and the “Anonymous” button works and ends up in my email as an “Anonymous” comment.

The rules and regulations are in the blog within a post. Take the time to read them thoroughly and I hope that you become a constant contributor.

Remember, we all have things on our chest to let out and we all truly don’t want others to know. But now is an opportunity for YOU to speak up, speak out, and be heard!

I know that I have a lot of feelings and issues that I don’t want my husband, friends, or family to know about…this is my chance to get it off my chest and I WILL be a constant contributor.

Depending on the issue, I might submit the story under both “anonymous” and my name.
Go to “Bipolar Speaks” and look around, don’t forget to display the Bipolar Speaks button on your blog and link it back to us.

By the way, I still have my other blog, so don’t forget about me over there, too. :)

Nacht Uil said...

Weather you're insane or not, there's a lot of creativity going among you and your co-author. I read a lot on your blogs now, because it is so interesting. In a positive way. I look forward to receiving the book that I ordered.

Martina said...

Well said.